British comedian Eddie Izzard has every reason to feel confident in smudged eyeliner. Ladies and gentlemen, yes its his improvisation and wit, as well as his keen fashion sense, that has gained him a huge following in both the UK and US. Hes starring in a new film called Shadow of the Vampire with debuts later this year. His official website izzard.com is an eclectic mixture of stuff from snowboarding pictures to original sound clips. And hes currently touring the stage with his one-act show Circles (sic). We are hoping desperately that he has a thought or two about the internet to impart. Here he is now, Eddie Izzard.
[As Scott is speaking, pictures of Eddie from his website and a short Shadow of the Vampire film clip are shown.]
Did you get all that stuff off the internet?
We just made it up. We were hoping it fit.
Yeah, cuz one of them's got Shadow of a Vampire, where I play a bad actor. Because if anyone saw that, they mustve thought, Oh, hes a bad actor. But Im playing a bad actor, so I think I come off very good. Someone said I was very good as a bad actor . . . some reviewer.
The snowboarding pictures were great, I looked at those.
Yeah, Im quite good. I can ride fakie. I think its called riding fakie. Where you go like that [Eddie mimes snowboarding] and then you spin round and youre riding the other way. 'Cuz snowboarding is one of the few things . . . You know, 'cuz people were taking marijuana and winning snowboarding . . . um . . . things.
Going for the green?
I think its one of the ones where it probably helps 'cuz if you go into a half-pipe and youre spinning round and you just dont know how youre gonna land . . . You can go either way, and you can even go forwards and backward. I mean its . . . its not like skiing where its just forwards and stuff the rest of it. I mean, snowboarding is any way you want to go. Even sliding down like that. [Eddie mime-boards some more.]
We have a lot of snowboarders on our staff here.
'Cuz . . .I think they should do snowboarding scenes like the bullet scenes. You know, if you get some . . . Do you ever get snow on the streets of San Francisco?
Once every 20 years.
So, that 20 years, did you get some snowboarding? Cuz it would work!
Down the . . . Especially that bit where it goes like that. [Eddie makes curving motions with his hand.]
Oh, Lombard Street! Thatd be good. Get Willie Brown in here.
Just set it up, fake snow.
Okay now, izzard.com, just how active are you with it?
Im medium, medium active. In the fact that I feel its something that could suck all my time into it and I could just live in there. But I love what the internet can do. I do go around and surf the internet, but its all stuff about me and I just . . . If I keep putting content into it . . . and I want to put content into the show, because thats the main thing, and this should serve to give information for.
But I dont want to put all my creative into the actual website, because then Ill just get to the show and go Eh, Im dry. You know, Two men in a pub. I cant think. Thats like with food, Im very boring with food. I eat the same thing over and over again, because I save my creativity for that hitting the stage bit.
Now, I understand you talk about chimps in your show, is that right?
Chimpanzees. Well, monkeys, generally.
Cuz were big fans of chimps. We make tons of chimp references on the show, a lot of Sasquatch references - which are primates. I dont know if you knew that Eddie.
That Sasquatch, it that . . .?
Thats Bigfoot. Whats the fruit that also sound like Sasquatch? Thats kumquat!
[The similarity visibly escapes Scott. Eddie explains.] Thats quite close in my aural kind of pick-up there.
Look out! Its a kumquat!
But they could if you get several kumquats all stacked together. Theyd look like a Sasquatch.
They would. The mold would grow off.
No. Theres something like a Sasquatch . . . Thats a squash isnt it?
A squash? Yes! A squash is actually a short term for Sasquatch. We have a clip! Lets look at it.
[Both turn to TV screen behind them. Nothing happens. One gets the distinct impression there was never any clip to begin with.]
Alright. So ah . . . How was it playing Lenny Bruce?
It was very good. I hope he liked it. You know, cuz I think . . . Because certain bits of what I do is similar. I like to ad lib all over the place. I use historical and religious stuff as a basis for doing the stand-up. But then, Im more surreal than he was. And he was way more angry than I am. And I dont think he started angry, but you know, it became a drug-fueled . . . the establishment crushing down on him. I mean, he was the godfather of alternative comedy, and he died . . . he was the Jesus Christ of alternative comedy. He died so that alternative comedy lives, man.
Wow, I just had a religious experience. Eddie, the time is up already. You are our first celebrity interview ever. Now, one more chance to play the Smackdown. Were gonna have the Internet Smackdown. If you want to play. Its up to you.
I desperately want to play it. But I want to play the number version of it.
We can do that.
Okay, if I win, then Im happy to play it. But if I loose, then I wanted to play the number one in the first place.
Okay, but all the money goes to charity.
If you want to catch Eddie Izzard on tour, you can check out his website at www.izzard.com.